break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
