Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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