i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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