it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
