I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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