I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
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