its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
