Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
