the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
