carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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