so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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