I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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