my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Randomize
