yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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