You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
