Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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