So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
