then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
