Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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