Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
