But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
