lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
