You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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