am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
