So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
