His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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