No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
