I can tuck mytits in my pants
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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