Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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