dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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