Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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