WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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