In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
