She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
