Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize