Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
God, I missed his penis.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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