UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
