The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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