I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
