Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
