I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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