Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
