She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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