Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
