i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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