i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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