walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
