he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
