im having a threesome with these popsicles
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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