You made me cry and you don't even care
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
