no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
