I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize