We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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