dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
