I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize